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Springsteen and Sinatra To Appear On New Medium of Exchange.
Cryptocurrency (or bitcoin) is a relatively new medium of exchange that uses strong cryptography to secure financial transactions around the world. New York State Treasurer Elizabeth Muoio have their way, the New Jersey cryptocurrency might be the next big thing. Mint to the new minted 'coins'.
"The problem with bitcoin is that it has no personality, no 'pizazz'. "With the Government in a press release," noted the Governor in a press release. "Joe Piscopo is my personal favorite for the One Dollar coin. I just love that classic 'I'm from Jersey bit!' From the classic days of SNL! "
For the Democrats, the so-called "devalued" American currency, "which is the best in the country," according to an undisclosed source within the Democratic State Committee. But not everyone agrees New Jersey has the authority to do so.
Assemblyman Michael Patrick Carroll (R-25) claims in the Constitution under Article I Section 8, only Congress has the authority to, "To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures ; Securities and current Coin of the United States. "
"Obviously, the intent of the Framers is clear. Article I Section 8 … simply refers to 'coin money', and not 'cryptocurrency'. It is only liberal activists in the Democrat Party that have subverted the Original Intent. "
Just who else would appear on the New Jersey cryptocurrency?
"Everyone agrees that Jerry Lewis (of Weehawken) should be on the Fifty Dollar coin," noted Muoio. "And that either Frank Sinatra (Hoboken) or Bruce Springsteen (Long Branch) should be on the One Thousand Dollar coin." Other future possibilities include actress Meryl Streep (who grew up in the Summit), Chief Tuccamirgan of the Lenape tribe (who greeted early Hunterdon County settlers); John Travolta (Englewood), Danny Devito (Neptune City) and Queen Latifah (Newark).
Assemblyman Andrew Zwicker (D1-16) is the head of the Plasma Physics Laboratory Princeton University and acknowledged as the 'smartest person in the Assembly'.
Cryptocurrency cryptocurrency. Essentially, cryptocurrencies are validated by a blockchain and maintained by a hash function algorithm and data mining protocol. I really do not get it either, but that's what I found on Wikipedia, "finished Zwicker.
The name of the new coin will be 'NJCoin' or 'nudgecoin', the Governor's press release concluded.
Editor's Note: Mr. Novick's column is a humor piece about New Jersey politics and meant strictly as satire.
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