How to use humor as a superpower at work

“So, a group of behavioral scientists walk into a bar …” Sounds like the beginning of a joke, but in this case it’s not.

Some of these people were gathering to act in comic sketches, and two of them – Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas – ended up researching the hypothesis that humor is serious in the workplace.

They say it is vastly underestimated and if you decide to tap into your lighter side, it could simply lead you to career success.

Dr. Aaker says that when we laugh with someone, our brains release “a cocktail of healthy hormones that suppress cortisol and increase dopamine and oxytocin.”

“Oxytocin, by the way, is the same hormone that is released during sex and childbirth,” she tells RN’s This Working Life.

“So having sex, giving birth and laughing with coworkers in a Zoom meeting have a lot in common – we’re all building trust and nobody’s wearing pants.”

Dr. Aaker and Ms. Bagdonas now teach a course at Stanford Graduate School of Business on how humor can be a superpower at work.

You just have to know how to use it.

First, let’s debunk some myths

As part of their research, Dr. Aaker and Ms. Bagdonas looked at what prevents people from using humor at work.

They interviewed thousands of executives and found that there are some myths or misconceptions that stand in the way.

The first is the “born with it” myth.

“It’s the idea that people think humor is a personality trait, not a skill,” says Ms. Bagdonas.

There is also the “myth of failure”: the fear that a joke will fail means you are not taking the risk.

Ms Bagdonas states that the myth that holds people back most is the “serious business myth”, which is when people think that “humor is the enemy of the serious”.

But their research suggests that the balance of gravity and lightness empowers both.

“If you are able to pursue truly serious missions that you care deeply about and can do it while remaining light, without taking yourself too seriously, then you will be more successful,” says Ms. Bagdonas.

And you don’t have to be a comedian to bring jokes to the workplace, adds Dr. Aaker.

It’s not just about making jokes: it’s about creating a culture of lightness and ease.

Truth and surprise

Humor can be hard to achieve in the workplace, but Ms. Bagdonas says if it’s not inappropriate, it’s worth a try.

It can help to know what’s at the heart of humor.

“All the humor comes from truth and bad direction,” says Ms. Bagdonas.

“First, we have truth at the heart of the play, so we often laugh because we think ‘I do it’ or ‘I’ve seen people do it’, or ‘this actually resonates with my experience of the world.’

“And then the second is the surprise. We often laugh because we are being led in one direction and then it is revealed that we are actually going in a completely separate direction.”

An example would be if someone arrives late for a dinner.

“Halfway through the first course, they come in and say, ‘I’m so sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come,'” says Ms. Bagdonas.

“We’ve all been there, we’ve all been on our couches thinking, ‘Oh man, I’m going to be late but I really don’t want to go.’

“We were expecting” Sorry I’m late, there was traffic “,” Sorry I’m late, the Zoom link didn’t work “.”

And this is where the detour comes into play.

Humor can also help colleagues bond and can be a great outlet for people who work in high-stress environments.

“We talk to the emergency room doctors who have been through incredibly difficult times, and are laughing to each other behind the scenes afterwards,” says Ms. Bagdonas.

“It’s not because they don’t take their job seriously, it’s actually the opposite.

“It’s that they take their jobs so seriously that they need to find ways to cope and ways to help their bodies and minds be resilient through what they’re doing.”

Ms. Bagdonas says it can also help people remember what you have to say, because dopamine is linked to memory and information retention.

“If someone laughs while listening to you, they’re actually holding onto more of what you’re saying,” he says.

“So this isn’t just a way to have more fun while we’re presenting or while we’re at work, it’s also a really powerful way to get people to remember what we said.”

What’s your kind of humor?

Dr. Aaker says there are four different styles of humor: stand-up, flirty, sniper, and magnets.

“The stand-ups are basically these individuals who are natural entertainers who aren’t afraid to ruffle a few feathers for a laugh,” he says.

“They may be more extroverted and may not necessarily be able to read the room.”

Magnets are charismatic. They keep things positive, warm and uplifting and avoid controversial or upsetting humor.

“They radiate charisma. Often they can really read the room and be aware of how humor is landing,” adds Dr. Aaker.

Then there are the snipers, who tend to be sharp and sarcastic.

“They’re not afraid to cross borders in search of a laugh. Sometimes it’s hard to make people laugh, but when you do, you feel really good,” says Dr. Aaker.

Lovers are more serious and honest and avoid humor that could risk hurting feelings.

“Their humor often flies under the radar and is sometimes even planned, but it often gets better,” says Dr. Aaker.

Understanding these types, not just who you are but your coworkers, can make having a laugh at work easier and less risky.

Different jokes for different people

Depending on the context, you could tap into different styles of humor.

“We find that sniper and stand-up humor can increase power if you are of lower rank, but magnet-style humor and sweetness can increase power if you are of higher rank,” says Ms. Bagdonas.

When Ms. Bagdonas teaches a class of students, she leans on magnet-style humor or sweetness.

“I am self-deprecating, I use humor that is most uplifting,” he says.

“But when I am conducting a session with a group of executives who are significantly older than me – and in many cases much more male than I am – I will often lean into stand-up and sniper humor due to the innate power imbalance that it exists in age and other social dimensions that are so encoded in our brains.

“This was especially powerful for me when I was early in my career, when I was around 20 and conducting these sessions, I actually found a well placed jab or a little bit of teasing could really go a long way and help me. “

But using humor at work isn’t always good for everyone. Keep cultural considerations in mind and don’t force them.

If your humor is flat, the best thing you can do is recognize it.

“Give it a name. Say” I just realized, I think it was inappropriate, I’m really sorry, “” says Ms. Bagdonas.

“In this situation where our humor fails or offends, it can be really tempting to dismiss it by saying ‘I was just kidding’, or ‘He didn’t get the joke’ or ‘He’s too sensitive’, instead of stopping us and considering that it may actually be the our problem “.

He adds that it’s important to trust the other person’s reaction in order to understand your mistake.

“It is in these moments when we push the line and take offense that we can really understand and make sure we are calibrated for humor to work well in the future,” says Ms Bagdonas.

And considering that the average person spends more than a third of their life at work, we have plenty of time to learn to embrace humor while we’re there.

Tapping into it could only lead to better relationships and greater success.