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- Norberto Pardes
- BBC World
“I never imagined, as a gay white man from Western Europe, that my test (HIV test) would be positive.”
This is what Christopher Klettermayr – also known by his pseudonym Philip Spiegel – a 38-year-old Austrian citizen who discovered he was infected with HIV in 2014.
It was a day he still remembered as if it had happened yesterday.
His discovery took place not in Austria, but in India, where he was assigned a photojournalism assignment and was planning to travel to a Hindu temple.
As a condition of entry, he was required to undergo an HIV test.
Christopher told the BBC. “I definitely agree. Since I’m white and not gay, I expected a negative result.”
“But it wasn’t.”
HIV infection was something he had in mind for gay men, intravenous drug use or African countries.
Christopher had felt very ill a few months earlier in Austria, but no one ever thought it was caused by HIV.
“No doctor visited me because I wasn’t among the highest risk groups,” says Christopher. “I was diagnosed in India by accident, and it was shocking.”
“I was really lucky, because I could have gone years without taking a test,” he says.
“Great challenges”
Christopher tells his story in conjunction with World AIDS Day, in a year when the world’s attention is focused on another epidemic.
The United Nations has warned that Covid 19 threatens progress made in the battle against HIV, increasing the existing inequality in access to treatment.
As there were 690,000 deaths due to AIDS-related diseases during the year 2019. The United Nations AIDS Control Program says this toll could increase from 120,000 to 300,000 people because Covid 19 has affected the supply of care.
Of the nearly 38 million people living with HIV, 12 million people have not yet received antiretroviral treatment as of June 2020.
“Even though we have made extraordinary progress over the past 40 years, we have to keep working, because if we don’t, our earnings will be lost,” Birgit Poniatowski, executive director of the International AIDS Society, told the BBC.
He says HIV severely affects developing countries, but the idea that some groups are more vulnerable to infection is “a misconception.”
He adds: “One thing that has become clear after forty years of the HIV epidemic is that the disease does not discriminate. There are people living with the virus in every country and in every age group, and of every ethnicity, type, profession. , religion and sexual orientation “.
And unsafe sexual intercourse remains an important form of transmission, and the main form of the disease spreads to South Africa, for example, which is a country severely affected by HIV.
“Unsafe sexual intercourse is not the only way to get HIV,” says Dr. Poniatowski. “Sharing or reusing syringes is the reason behind 10% of cases worldwide.”
” why me?”
“At first I was terrified and overwhelmed with a lot of questions about what HIV means,” says Christopher.
“And I asked myself, why am I? Then I realized that I had to get rid of all the impressions I had in mind from the 80s and 90s to the twenty-first century.”
And Christopher believes that HIV recognition may be a problem for non-gay men in particular, due to ideas about masculinity.
He says that “many non-gay men do not disclose their infection because they are afraid of considering them gay or drug addicts.”
Christopher was very afraid of being seen or treated differently, so he chose a pseudonym, Philip Spiegel, so that he could talk about HIV and participate in press interviews.
But as time went by, as he became more comfortable with his reality, he abandoned the “ghost”.
“The more I compare and challenge my perceptions of sexuality and masculinity, the less importance I attach to the problem,” says Christopher.
“I got to the point where I said to myself: okay, it’s not the end of the world,” he adds.
“I felt toxic”
While there is no cure for HIV yet, current treatments that suppress the virus allow most infected people to live long, healthy lives.
Dr Poniatowski says that people who have blunted the virus to the point of making it undetectable cannot pass it on to another person, even through sex.
And he adds: “If you’re on antiretroviral drugs, and it’s working fine, you won’t be a transmitter of the infection to anyone else.”
As soon as he started receiving the treatment, Christopher noticed the positive effects on his body. However, it took him years to psychologically change his impressions.
Things like dating have become “almost impossible because HIV destroys your trust”.
He says, “I felt something strange inside me for some time. I felt toxic, that my blood and sperm were poisonous. I felt that I was dangerous to others, especially those I wanted to get close to, like the my dear”.
Eventually, Christopher decided to use “the benefit of living in a country where HIV is not a problem” to inform and inspire others.
“I realized that if I couldn’t say I had HIV, who could?” He says.
“Lottery” feedback
The most terrifying thing about living with HIV, Christopher says, is that you never expect people to react when you tell them you are infected.
“It’s like a lottery,” he says, adding that he has seen all kinds of reactions.
She added: “One of the positive experiences was when I asked a girl: What would you do if I told you I have HIV? Then she smiled and said it would make things more interesting.”
He added: “But others also immediately asked: Can I catch him while he kisses?”
HIV is transmitted through blood and cannot be passed from person to person through spitting, sneezing, coughing, kissing or normal social contact.
For Christopher, falling in love was an important part of overcoming his fears about stigma.
He explained: “I saw how (his sweetheart) was dealing with me and how the virus problem was not there. He was just taking one pill a day.”
One of the “prejudices” Christopher says is that HIV “dominates” the lives of people with HIV.
“There have been times when my family and friends have completely forgotten that I had the virus, because it wasn’t a problem.”
“I am more than that. HIV is only one side of me.”
“I’m happier now than I was before I got infected with the virus.”
Christopher says his experience has given him the opportunity to reflect on his life and see things from a broader perspective.
“I live longer now. I am happier than before I contracted HIV,” she says.
The experience also earned him an artistic talent and gave him the goal of writing a book about living with HIV.
Christopher avoids advising people whether or not to declare their infection.
“The advice varies depending on the country, region or even the family I grew up in,” he says. “I know people whose families have denied them after testing positive for the virus.”
He adds that, however, “it makes no sense to feel guilty or ashamed for contracting the virus.”
“Take your time. Be patient, accept the infection, but don’t give HIV more space in your life than it should, and don’t let it decide. The choice is yours.”
And Christopher has one last piece of advice: “You need to know everything about the disease. Knowledge dispels fear.”
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