THE SEXUAL QUESTION – Is it normal to lose an erection while wearing a condom?

While condoms are one of the main ways to have safe sex, many men say this method of contraception disturbs their erections. This is the case of Nicolas, a listener of Europe 1, who says he is very embarrassed by the situation, especially towards his partner. In Without appointment, sex therapist Catherine Blanc gave him some advice.

Nicolas’s question

Every time I wear a condom, I lose my erection. It’s very embarrassing for me and my girlfriend. How to explain it?

Catherine Blanc’s response

It is extremely frequent. It could be for a technical question. When we are in the freedom and fluidity of bodily reconciliations, suddenly, we have to reconnect the brain to see how we put it, how to make it flow, etc. But beyond that, there’s also the idea that the condom forces you to think about protection. We are in a moment where we will unite and make a gesture that says: “I protect myself from you, I protect you from me”. It is symbolic but refers to a kind of suspicion of one for the other, which can cause some men to lose their erections.

This is all the ambivalence of the situation. In order to make love, you have to say: “I have enough faith in you”. However, it is necessary to introduce this condom which poses a risk. We therefore understand that our psyche is struggling and that sometimes it leads to a symptomatology which is to lose this erection.

But even if wearing a condom takes 30 seconds, is it normal to lose an erection in such a short time?

There is a psychological part. Some men think that wearing a condom is like choking their penis in plastic. But what the condom difficulty will say is also what it potentially says to get into a container and get stuck in it. It’s a castration anxiety.

How to defuse the situation?

We have to try to laugh at it. A man once told me an anecdote. This situation happened with her partner. It went on for a few minutes and then they laughed. They had a real laugh. And both retain the memory of complicity, of closeness.

I always recommend, especially to young people, to train. Having gesture mechanics allows you not to have to think about it at that moment. It is also nice to have condoms on hand.