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Knowing what to do and what not to do at all times is something we have all learned throughout our lives. The human being lives in lifelong learning, but it is in childhood that the foundations of education and personality are installed. Where is the seed planted in which each of us will rise again tomorrow. A solid foundation of security, self-confidence and a sense of responsibility will shape those branches that will surely allow us to achieve happiness.
Having control over one’s life, over our actions, knowing where the limits are and evaluating our ability to achieve things, are undoubtedly the values that every mother and father wants to instill in their children. But how do you do it?
Sometimes we fall into the mistake of over-protecting the little ones, we think that constantly helping them, keeping up with every step or doing things for them, is a trait of affection towards our children. But our mission is to educate the people of tomorrow, independent and mature people who know how to take care of themselves. Raising awareness and understanding how to achieve this is essential to making our children happier.
1. Education begins at birth
Responsibility is one of the most important virtues of human development, it is the best way to have control over our life. It doesn’t make sense that we start instilling this dimension in little ones at five or six. Absolutely. The responsibility must develop from the first months and the first years. What they can touch and what not. Toys must be collected after playing. They cannot raise the voice of the elders. The clothes are kept in the closet and the backpack should be ready for the next day. Little things that we can show them from the first moment children start interacting with the environment around them.
2. The need to establish clear rules
Our home and our school are clear examples of society. And we all know that there are rules, obligations and rights in our society. Setting limits is a vital need, because the child will learn from an early age what is expected of him at all times. Living in uncertainty offers no security. If one day we punish him for not cleaning his room, but the next day we ignore it, surely the child does not take our rules seriously, and does not worry too much about the consequences of imposing them, because sometimes he is sanctioned and sometimes not. .
The rules must be clear and stable over time. Once the child takes them, it will become a habit, something that is already understood and integrated. The purpose of the rules is to be understood and accepted, in the sense that even if they are imposed, they must always be reasonable. “I understand that when I get home I have to do my homework and have some free time to play and watch TV.” In other words, all the rules we set for children must be understood by them. Taxes will never be welcome, but if the rules come with good communication and are taken from a democratic perspective, they will be increasingly favorable.
3. Democratic education
We talked about it before. The need to set standards and limits is fundamental. The need to keep them constant over time. However, a rule is not a penalty. Making your bed is not a punishment, nor is getting up on time to go to school. There are those who think it is necessary to reward every act that children do well, but the ultimate goal is for children to understand that being responsible for their own things and actions does not need reward. .
The reward must be internal, that they understand that they are doing well. How do we get it? More than rewards, we need to use positive feedback. Communicating “I am proud of you” is, for example, the best recognition we can give them.
When children do something wrong or show carefree behavior, it is not appropriate to use very punitive punishment. We will continue to use democratic education: we must teach them how they can improve, reason with them before imposing a sanction, make them understand the need to improve their behavior. By showing responsibility, we will give them more rights, more opportunities.
Being responsible is a sign of maturity and is certainly the key to our aspiration as parents. Raising responsible, independent and mature children so that they fit perfectly into society, are happy in a world they understand and can function perfectly in.
By Valeria Sabater for The Mind is Wonderful.
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