“Thanks for calling the Clinic of Advanced Biological Computing, I’m Dr. Elliott Fisher.”
Thus began the strangest conversation I have had as a journalist, with a group of Monero mining musicians who have been traveling through time since 2077.
A couple of months ago, Andrew Fenton wrote a story for Cointelegraph Magazine on conspiracy theories related to cryptocurrencies. That story, and particularly the artwork that accompanied it, caught the attention of Fisher and his three colleagues: singer and linguist Professor Lee Shoar, engineer Keith Gubbins on bass, and mathematician Sir Anthony Calise on drums. .
The four men arrived in 2020 with a mission to warn the human race about the emergence of the Lizard People, a race of beings currently living among us who are “pulling the strings of government” and sowing misinformation, such as the idea that the Earth is a sphere.
According to the band, collectively known as X OE A-Viii, the climate change that will lead to human extinction is a direct result of the Lizard People’s desire to terraform the Earth to the desired temperature, which is significantly warmer than optimal for the man. existence. And in a week when Death Valley recorded the highest verifiable temperature ever measured on Earth, the band’s message could hardly be more timely.
“We finally figured out what they were doing,” says Shoar, “and went back to warn humans what they were doing, using the medium of Brutal Truth Music.”
Brutal Truth Music, it should be noted, contains traces of the Sasquatchian language – the native language of the people we know today mainly for their elusiveness and with many names including Bigfoot, Yeti and Sasquatch. It is these people that Fisher suggests we must turn to if we are to prevent the Earth from falling into the hands of the Lizard People forever.
What you are about to read may be disturbing. Discretion is advised.
They came from a different planet …
Fisher and Shoar explain that the Lizard People began populating the Earth in 1997, after remotely operating machinery in the oceans that started warming the planet for a few years before First Contact.
“A lot of them were taking on human form,” Fisher says. “But once they’ve grown over six feet … just as they got older they got bigger, which is why we see them a lot more in 2077. They are now at what they consider their best age. up to three hundred years. “
Spotting a lizard person can be difficult in 2020, says Fisher.
“Mark Zuckerberg, he’s one of them. I guess you guys get it. And Elon Musk. He is a warrior, trying to conquer people. He had Joe Rogan replaced with a lizard person. “
As for the mission, “We hope to change our timeline,” says Fisher, which describes a dystopian future in which the Lizard People have already killed all the giraffes and are moving towards a climate that cannot sustain human life. “It was a horrible thing,” he continues thoughtfully. “And after we brought back the dinosaurs in 2050, they tried to arm those creatures, which was a mistake because the Jurassic dinosaurs – we were wrong – they weren’t predatory animals, they were vegan. It was just abuse.”
But the insidious nature of their mission extends beyond the slaughter of innocent creatures – and goes right to the heart of our perception of reality.
“What the Lizard People are doing online for us to read is not true. What you consider conspiracy theories in this era, you may begin to realize are not that far off. There are still people in 2077 who cling to this crazy idea of a Round Earth, left over from your time. “
Allies in the fight against the lizard people
Help, however, is within reach, albeit for an amazing quarter.
Fisher explains that 2077 marked a potential turning point in the struggle against Lizard colonization, when the leader of the Sasquatch people, Jerrrry Mitchell, died, prompting travelers to use Calise’s time-warping formula in order to change the course of a desperate future for humans.
“As soon as the people of Sasquatch know that humans are with them and don’t want to hurt or harm them, they will come to the fore and be our number one defense against the Lizard people,” Fisher says.
But communication with the Sasquatch has been hampered over the years by a combination of the breed’s inherent shyness and human attempts to track down and capture one of their people. And although humans are vaguely aware of some important Sasquatch centers of activity, such as northern Michigan and Nepal, interaction between the races has been limited.
Professor Shoar explains that this must change, rapidly, if humans have any hope of reversing the terraforming process, and demonstrates a number of phrases that we can use to warn Sasquatch people that our intentions towards their race are benign.